It's normal for children to feel afraid at times. Fear is an emotion that can help kids be cautious. Things that are new, big, loud, or different can seem scary at first. Parents can help kids feel safe and learn to feel at ease.
What kids feel afraid of changes as they grow. Some fears are common and normal at certain ages.
For example:
Infants feel stranger anxiety. When babies are about 8–9 months old, they can recognize the faces of people they know. That's why new faces can seem scary to them — even a new babysitter or relative. They may cry or cling to a parent to feel safe.
Toddlers feel separation anxiety. At some time between 10 months and 2 years, many toddlers start to fear being apart from a parent. They don't want a parent to leave them at daycare, or at bedtime. They may cry, cling, and try to stay near their parent.
Young kids fear "pretend" things. Kids ages 4 through 6 can imagine and pretend. But they can't always tell what's real and what's not. To them, the scary monsters they imagine seem real. They fear what might be under their bed or in the closet. Many are afraid of the dark and at bedtime. Some are afraid of scary dreams. Young kids may also be afraid of loud noises, like thunder or fireworks.
Older kids fear real-life dangers. When kids are 7 or older, monsters under the bed can't scare them (much) because they know they're not real. At this age, some kids begin to fear things that could happen in real life. They may have a fear that a "bad guy" is in the house. They may feel afraid about natural disasters they hear about. They may fear getting hurt or that a loved one could die. Schoolage kids may also feel anxious about schoolwork, grades, or fitting in with friends.
Preteens and teens may have social fears. They might feel anxious about how they look or whether they will fit in. They may feel anxious or afraid before they give a report in class, start a new school, take a big exam, or play in a big game.
When your child is afraid, you can help by doing these things:
Most kids cope with normal fears with gentle support from their parent. As they grow, they get over fears they had at a younger age.
Some kids have a harder time, and need more help with fears. If fears are extreme or keep a child from doing normal things, it might be a sign of an anxiety disorder.
Talk to your doctor if your child's fears:
Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date Reviewed: Oct 15, 2018