It's Friday afternoon, last period. The weekend trip you planned with a friend starts in exactly 4 hours. You've been catching up on studying and chores all week so you can enjoy the time away. And now the teacher announces a test on Monday.
You probably feel annoyed — or maybe downright angry. You might feel disappointed. You might also feel pressured or stressed about all the studying you'll have to do.
But how do you react? What do you do and say?
You may want to jump up and yell at the teacher, "That's not fair! Some of us have weekend plans." But you know you need to keep your cool until class is over — then share your feelings with your friend.
But what if you're not the calm, collected type? Don't worry. Everyone can develop the skill of responding well when emotions run high. It just takes a bit more practice for some people
Managing emotional reactions means choosing how and when to express the emotions we feel.
People who do a good job of managing emotions know that it's healthy to express their feelings — but that it matters how (and when) they express them. Because of this, they're able to react to situations in productive ways:
You've probably been in a situation where someone reacted in a way that was too emotional, making you cringe or feel embarrassed for the person. You also might have been in a situation where your own emotions felt so strong that it took all your self-control not to go down that path yourself.
Maybe you can think of a time when you didn't manage your reaction. Perhaps anxiety, anger, or frustration got the better of you, It happens. When it does, forgive yourself and focus on what you could have done better. Think about what you might do next time.
The skills we use to manage our emotions and react well are part of a bigger group of emotional skills called emotional intelligence (EQ). Developing all the skills that make up emotional intelligence takes time and practice.
People who react well are already good at some basic EQ skills. But these are skills anyone can practice:
Once these basic skills feel natural, you're more able to manage what you actually do when you feel strong emotions. Practicing the basic skills also will help you get past difficult emotions faster.
Imagine this situation: Your friends have received promposals (or college acceptances, team places, etc.). But you haven't. Once you identify, understand, and accept how you feel, how might you react?
Consider each choice and think about what might happen next for each one. Which reaction would lead to the best outcome?
We always have a choice about how to react to situations. Once we realize that, it's easier to make choices that work out well.
Learning to react well takes practice. But we all can get better at taking emotional situations in stride and expressing emotions in healthy ways. And that's something to feel good about!
Reviewed by: KidsHealth Medical Experts