When you can, model for your teen what a healthy relationship looks like – one built on trust, honesty, respect, open communication and compromise. Talk about what healthy love feels like and how it is different from controlling or intense behavior.
Dating can be an exciting part of growing up, but it can also bring challenges that aren’t always easy to see. Teen dating violence is one of those challenges. It can include physical harm and also emotional manipulation, sexual pressure and digital abuse through texting or social media. Any teen can be a victim, no matter their gender, race, sexual identity or background. Knowing the warning signs can help parents step in and support their teen.
“Research shows that kids with a history of teen dating violence are at an increased risk of being in an abusive relationship in adulthood,” said Dr. Laura Hlavaty, a pediatric psychologist at Akron Children’s Lois and John Orr Family Behavioral Health Center. “That’s why it’s important to start talking with your teen now about how to recognize and build healthy relationships. These are skills they can carry with them into adulthood.”
Dr. Hlavaty shares tips for parents to help teens build healthy relationship skills.
Model healthy relationships
Teens learn by watching the adults around them. When you can, show them what a healthy relationship looks like – one built on trust, honesty, respect, open communication and compromise. Talk about what healthy love feels like and how it is different from controlling or intense behavior. Examples from movies, TV shows or real-life situations can help make these ideas easier to understand.
Teen dating violence can include physical harm and also emotional manipulation, sexual pressure and digital abuse through texting or social media. Research shows that kids with a history of teen dating violence are at an increased risk of being in an abusive relationship in adulthood.
Help teens build self-worth
Encourage your teen to notice their strengths and remind them that everyone grows at their own pace. Comparing themselves to friends or siblings is rarely helpful. Talk about their values, interests and the qualities they like about themselves. Teach them to show kindness to themselves, too. Mistakes are normal and help us learn and grow.
Give teens a safe space to talk
Make your home a place where your teen feels safe sharing their thoughts and concerns. Listen without judgment – even when topics feel awkward or scary. This builds trust and makes it more likely your teen will come to you if something doesn’t feel right.
Ask open-ended questions, like:
• “How are things going with your partner or crush?”
• “Is anything making you feel uncomfortable?”
Make your home a place where your teen feels safe sharing their thoughts and concerns. Listen without judgment – even when topics feel awkward or scary. This builds trust and makes it more likely your teen will come to you if something doesn’t feel right.
Talk about consent
Explain that consent means clear agreement. Everyone has the right to say “no” without feeling pressured or guilty. Remind teens there is no set timeline for physical intimacy. A relationship can be healthy and meaningful without it.
Building healthy relationship skills takes time. Keep these conversations going as your teen grows. By encouraging open communication, self-worth and an understanding of consent early on, parents can help teens build respectful, caring relationships now and healthier relationships in the future.
Contact your teen’s pediatrician or an Akron Children’s behavioral health provider to get help and resources.
