About 1 in 10 high school students reports physical dating violence, and even more experience emotional abuse.
First love is supposed to be exciting – the butterflies when you see someone in the hall, late-night texts and feeling noticed in a whole new way. For many teens, dating is a normal part of growing up. It’s a chance to gain confidence, learn what a healthy relationship looks like and experience those “firsts” that feel unforgettable.
But for some teens, what starts out fun can quickly become controlling, manipulative or even abusive. Because these relationships are new, teens may not notice warning signs until harm has already happened.
When parents hear “dating violence,” they often think of physical abuse. But teen dating violence can also be emotional or psychological, sexual or digital – like controlling texts and social media. While numbers vary, studies show it’s a real concern. About 1 in 10 high school students reports physical dating violence, and even more experience emotional abuse.
Akron Children’s pediatric psychologist Dr. Laura Hlavaty explains how parents can help teens spot red flags in relationships.
Warning signs a teen might be experiencing abuse
Watch for changes in your teen’s behavior, such as:
- Sudden shifts in mood or personality.
- Pulling away from family or friends.
- Changes in appearance, eating habits or grades.
- Unexplained bruises or injuries.
- Being secretive or unusually anxious.
These changes can sometimes just mean stress, but they may also signal problems in a relationship.
Red flags of an unhealthy or abusive partner
Look for behaviors like:
- Jealousy or possessiveness.
- Controlling actions (telling your teen who they can see or what they can do).
- False accusations or questioning your teen’s motives.
- Explosive temper.
- Frequent insults or put-downs.
- Constant calling or texting to check on your teen.
Even if these actions seem like “caring” or “protectiveness,” they are often signs of power and control.
Some red flags to watch for include jealousy, possessiveness and controlling whom your teen can and can’t see.
What to do if you notice a red flag
If you think your teen might be in an unhealthy relationship:
- Stay calm and nonjudgmental. Teens may get defensive if they feel accused. Keep the conversation open.
- Ask questions that help them think. For example: “I noticed you haven’t been hanging out with friends. How are you feeling about that?” This helps them reflect without feeling attacked.
- Don’t pressure them to break up. Pushing too hard can make teens withdraw or cling to their partner. Supportive talks work better than ultimatums.
Support is available
Helping a teen in an unhealthy relationship can feel hard, especially when signs aren’t obvious. You don’t have to do it alone. Professionals can guide you on how to start the conversation and what steps to take next.
With the right support, teens can learn what healthy love looks like and move forward feeling safe, confident and empowered.
Contact your teen’s pediatrician or an Akron Children’s behavioral health provider to get help and resources.
